It’s early. Really early. And I’m awake.
One of my dear friends was here yesterday for a Sunday night walkie-talkie in the rain which we followed up with a cup of Nighty Night herbal tea and a chat by the fire. After one too many yawns on my part he sweetly put an end to our conversation and was off. Friends who set bedtime boundaries for me are my favorites and I need them. I haven’t learned how to set those boundaries for myself yet and this girl needs sleep or she turns into Grumpy Grandpa.
Shortly after he left I crawled into my nest of pillows and settled into the coziness of a cold bedroom, warm bed situation. The best! My thoughts drifted towards a post I wanted to do in the morning on gratitude. I was almost asleep when that old familiar feeling hit. You know the one. Why do I always have to pee moments after I get in bed? The worst! And why do I always feel the need to tell you guys about me having to pee? I lay there and willed it to reflux back up into my kidneys. Blast that Nighty Night tea! After about 10 minutes of “willing” I gave up and hopped out of bed. A moment later I was back and nestling in when I innocently cleared my throat and that’s when I came down with consumption (Does anyone call it that anymore? TB is way less romantic sounding. (Mom just told me I should clarify that I don’t really have TB. I just have a cough.). Good grief, I dry coughed for almost an hour straight. HANG GRATITUDE! I just want to live and breath and sleep! Now it’s into the 12s and I’m up running around the house in my undies and fuzzy socks, freezing my bum cheeks off, rooting out cough drops from miscellaneous drawers, dumping out my purse to find my throat spray and assembling a 40 piece Vick’s humidifier (You’ve been warned about the drama surrounding me and sickness. It’s straight up Jerry Springer, minus a baby daddy.).
Anyway, that’s all. Something I did finally worked and I fell asleep. Now here I am in the wee hours. Up and at ’em. It’s dark outside. I’m sitting on the couch bundled in a giant fuzzy bathrobe and slippers listening to 301210 by Antonymes. I’m drinking a concoction I made up with coconut milk, cacao powder and cayenne pepper and it turns out that I’m feeling pretty grateful.
I’ll save what I was really going to write about gratitude for another day, but for now this bit of gratitude goes out to you lovely souls reading this post. Let me just tell you that something about this project has turned all of my insides out. I know I’m writing about silly things most of the time, but what’s going on for me behind the composition is some kind of shifting. My head is looking at things differently and my heart is feeling EVERYTHING as I keep my senses alert for all things juicy. It’s amazing and exhausting all at once. You should know that even though I’ve only been blogging for a couple weeks I’ve been sitting with The Juicy Human for months trying to get really clear as to what it is and what the product of it will be. So, I’ve had some time to shift.
This last year has been one of the most challenging, most breaking apart, most reconstructing years of my life. The Juicy Human wasn’t just something that popped up out of the blue. For me, it was an answer to prayer. I needed to pour my Charlotte heart into something that (Hold please… I can’t listen to 301210 while writing this. I’m bawling my eyes out. Ha! Sheesha. I’m powering down the playlist.) Ahem… I needed to pour my Charlotte heart into something that would take it for what it was and not expect it to be something that it just can’t and doesn’t want to be. So, here we are and I’m pouring. I’m so grateful for everyone who has messaged me about this blog. Friends that I haven’t talked to in years, friends I see almost everyday, and friends I’ve met traveling around this globe have come out of the woodwork to comment on something that they read on here and I’m just so grateful for all the love and support.
I’ll keep doing my thing over here and you keep doing your thing over there and if you ever want to do a thing together then please come over for early morning concoctions from my kitchen. I’ll have you. We can sit by the fire and look out these big bay windows in this room that is the heartbeat of our home and shoot the breeze.
Okay. That’s enough of that. Someone stop me before my gratitude goo gets too gooey.
Juicy Jam Session: The sun is up! I think… It’s a little cloudy out, but The Weather Channel says it’s up. Morning by Beck.